Friendship...I wonder

Yay! I have my own laptop! :D Um, okay, this is SO off topic, but just wanna inform you. Heck, it was my bro's old laptop anyways, and he bought it second-hand XP. Anyways, back to the topic.

IDIOT'S GUIDE TO Friendship for Teens is right next to me. Why the heck was it next to me in the first place? Because I've been reading since yesterday - especially when I read a blog that's been waging a war with another. I even remember there was a fight between two of my closest friends (but they're back together, which makes me wonder even more --_--||), hence the book itself was lying on my desk...maybe my sis was reading it before, but meh...

So all these about having best friends really bugs me. I'll tell you my own experience - I never have a best friend. No, seriously, I don't. Even in the book, there can only be ONE best friend for each of us, but who the heck is my best friend?? I mean, if I'm talking about one of my friends, each of them already has their own best friend, which makes me go back to square one. Yet among the best friends that I know of, they always have conflict with each other. It can be from the smallest things to the biggest. I guess the reason why I never have a best friend in the first place was I'm scared of being back-stabbed. Never in my life will I see some backstabbing among my friends, but it happened slowly. One of them is because of misunderstanding, where this person thinks she's helping her friend, whereas the other thinks her friend is too much. (Yes, you know who you are. I'm just glad you guys are over it. If you're not, I swear I'll slap both of you in the faces).

Another, is because I moved houses/schools too much, especially when I was in primary. The maximum number of years I'd be in a primary school is just two - TWO years!! What do you expect of me trying to understand the word 'BEST FRIEND'?! Okay, fine, people said that you'll find your best friend when you've become a teen - but I see none. I mean, I thought I've found one in Form One, but then we moved classes. Then I thought I've found one in Form Two, but then in recess time we secluded ourselves a bit to our respective groups. And when that person moved out of school in Form Four, I found myself quiet, silent, and lonely. I realized that I need a chatterbox friend to help me gear up for my day. But even now, I haven't contact her yet, because I don't know what I should say to her. It's really frustrating...

Okay, the reason why I started this entry in the first place was - how the heck am I gonna make friends in college?! Sure, there are some guides in that book, but I don't even know if I can seriously follow or understand what I'm supposed to do when I'm there, especially when none of my friends are in the same university/campus with me @_@. (Ugh, Eli's so lucky to have her BFF with her) Another thing, I heard that the people there are like...how do you describe it...'world socialites'?? I mean, I'm used to people that are like very soleh/solehah type of people, or just some average people who know their limits. But these people who bleached their hair and pierced their ear more than one?? I don't know ==__==|| I guess I'm just gonna get used to it...

SO, the moral of the story is...ah, wat da hell. I'll just close this up. END OF STORY.