To answer your question..

..Okay, so I read one of my friend's blogs about the tudung question she asked me last year... Even though it's SO last year, I'm still gonna write a reply to that entry.

When I read back the answers I gave you, I guess I realized how immature I was at that time. Truthfully, when I meant by 'It depends' at that time, means that I would wear tudung when I hang out with friends (aka you guys), but I won't when I'm with my family (yes, I know, it's STILL doesn't makes sense). But we haven't hang out since, so you really don't know what changes I have made since after SPM.

I've worn tudung since the beginning of the year..I don't know how, but I've become more serious and worn tudung everytime I go out (...ok, maybe only twice, but i've learned my mistakes --_--||). But as I grew accustomed to wearing tudung, I then realized what made me not wearing tudung before - my family. Okay, my dad is an exception, since he's been growing up in a religiously strict environment, and Ezhan supported me as well, even asking me, "You x nak try pakai selendang ke??" But my other siblings...GUH! I don't know what the heck their problems are...especially my eldest bro. He kept saying "Buka je la tudung. Don't be like kakak la." Even my other family members were like, "OMG, are you trying to be like your sister?" (FYI, she was like an 'ustazah' when she was in MRSM, but when she graduated from 'U', she's a total different person). And Eli and Mama were like, "Ala...buka je la! Siapa nak ngorat ko??"

...U have no idea how hurtful I've been receiving those kinds of responses/comments, just because I've started wearing tudung, a Hijjab, that's a part of the Holy Islamic rule. It's true that I'm not 100% nice, innocent and oh-so-religious like other people, but is it wrong for me to decide what I wanna wear?? Do you have any idea that I've been trying to wear tudung since a long time ago, but then these - THESE obstacles were in my way.

You probably won't understand why it takes me a long time to finally wear tudung, when you just have to put it over your head; or why I'm so hurtful by listening to those comments when I should just be ignorant and do my own thing...because your family's not like that at all. I was easily influenced by my siblings, taking up the latest styles, buying expensive facial washes, going to Coffee Bean, and the list goes on... No, you probably won't understand, since you don't have a sibling who's only had 5 or 6 years of education in Malaysia; or a sibling who thought that some of them veiled women are just covering up the devil side of them, so might as well just expose yourself just to be 'true' to yourself.

Just to be precise with the answer to your question again about whether I'm gonna wear tudung at U - YES, I'm going to wear it, and NO, I'm NOT going back to those days. Even though I'm going to UiTM's Shah Alam campus, the so-called 'world social class' campus - I won't change my ways. And just to be precise with you again, I still love my siblings and family, even though they threw negative comments at me - with or without realizing it. I hope that answers your questions and such. Hopefully we can chat again soon - or maybe later, since I'll be entering college life this 27th --_--||