Honestly...I don't know what to feel right now. Should I feel free for not being committed anymore? Or should I feel weak..like a stray cat which was once under good care, but had to be let go? I know...everything happens for a reason. It's just like one of the sentences in Al-Qur'an (credits to Kak Fifi for showing me this~)
"..Tetapi boleh jadi kamu tidak menyenangi sesuatu, padahal itu baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal itu tidak baik bagimu. Allah mengetahui, sedang kamu tidak mengetahui" (2:216)
".. But maybe you do not like something, and that's good for you, and may be you like something, but it is not good for you. Allah knows, and ye know not" (2:216)
The english one, I got it from Google Translate XD. Masha'Allah...for once I want to cry for this beautiful piece of 'poetry' of His 'love letter'... Yet, perhaps I am as heartless as I can be right now. So heartless that I couldn't even shed a tear for Him...? Ya Allah...please help me. Please guide me through this test you have given me. Please protect me from anymore future events like this... I don't want this anymore, not while I'm still studying, not while I'm still naive and innocent, and not while I am still under my parents' guidance and protection...
Although it's only been one week, it was a very nice - brief, but decent week so far... Truly I have never met a guy like him. One who loves to socialize, praise himself (aka egoistic), but at the same time has both his feet on the ground and still remembers Allah.... Yet, if it's true he still remembers Allah, why did he ask me...? Ya Allah...if I really do love You, the One and Only, why did I accept his offer?? Why couldn't I reject someone for once?!
Oh my Lord...help me realize what is truly best for me. For now I could not differentiate what is good and what is bad... I need to wake up and realize my parents' dreams - MY dreams as well...... Still....
